Where You At, Baby?

I love the double entendre of this title. I am in fact thinking both in terms of where my baby is in the world these days as well as trying to figure out my own mind about this whole adoption adventure.

Sometimes I lay awake at night trying to process the fact that my baby might be out there somewhere. Out there with a birth mom and dad and a family, and here I am waiting for something to go wrong so that I can have the chance to be their mom instead. Man what a head trip!

Some nights I just try to imagine what it would be like to hold a child in my arms and not have to give them back to someone else...

Anyway, I heard this song the other day and it just totally summed up how I feel, go ahead, have a good cry if you need to...I did!



You can imagine that I don't sleep much or well lately.

Knowing now that our wait times are longer I...well I mostly just try not to think about it too much. Sometimes I succeed for whole hours at a time!

Oh yeah, and yet another baby shower to attend on Friday. I will go and I will smile and I will cuddle. But in the end I must remember that it is very wrong to smuggle a baby home in my purse :) ! Just kidding of course, but man, I am really starting to hate baby showers. Of course I also have to deal with teh fact that this particular new mother (while I am very happy for her) had been in the middle of the domestic adoption process and then just "popped" up pregnant. Just like ALL those mythical stories people always tell me about. You know the ones, "Oh honey, I knew a woman who got pregnant as soon as they started the paperwork." Yeah, because I chose adoption as the magical cure to my fertility issues. Sheesh!

I'm Not as Smart as I Used To Be

Recently I purchased Jane Eyre, a favorite book from when I was a teen. Holy Cow, the language is more complicated than I remember! Obviously reading trashy romance novels(however fabulous and fun they are) has allowed my brain to rot. I still love the story though...

Anybody else noticed such issues? Maybe its just me?

Double Anniversaries!

Yep, we hit the 11 month mark and our 5th Wedding Anniversary can you believe it? I love him more now than the day we married, which I didn't think was possible. I guess with all that we have been through together it has really helped us to appreciate each other. So, in the spirit of appreciation I decided to list 5 things I love about my DH:

1. He never complains about how messy I am even though he likes things neat.
2. He supports me in every new endeavor-and usually believes in me more than I do!
3. He reads Barbie stories in a Yoda voice to the little nieces in our life.
4. He is willing to workout with me every night and keeps me going even when I want to quit.
5. He is always kind to my friends and doesn't mind being the only guy in the group!

Book of Secrets

One of my students handed me a book today with a passage marked. He said to me, "Mrs. E., I thought of you when I saw this page and thought you might want to read it." The book is called Book of Secrets and the page he had marked is the secret of successful parenting. Here is what the book had to say:

Parents can only advise their children or point them in the right direction. Ultimately people shape their own characters. ~Anne Frank

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.~Peter DeVries

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. ~Ogden Nash, Poet

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise the to do it. ~Harry S. Truman

Hmmmmmm, I wonder what message this child is trying to give me about being a parent? I THINK that knowing how I am waiting to be a Mom he was genuinely trying to help me out. Still, I thought it was pretty cute that he even took the time to share it with me.

Adoption Talk

I presented to a class of high school students this week about adoption. I was surprised at their insightful questions and the amount of attention that they gave to me. Having taught for about 10 years now I generally know what to expect in a classroom but this was a wonderful treat for me. I only had about 30 minutes so you can imagine how hard it was to cover everything. I really tried to stress that while adoption may not have been the initial road many people expect to travel, it is also not a "second best". It is simply another way of making a family.

Many of them only know about adoption through news on celebrities so the first thing I did was to straighten out some of those misconceptions. Secondly, we had a very honest talk about the different avenues for adoption domestic vs. international etc. and why people may choose one over the other. This was very important to them as, being all knowing high schoolers :) some thought that it would only be right to stick to adopting within Canada domestically as the "right" thing to do. I tried, and believe I was successful, in opening their eyes to the world of adoption and the very difficult decisions that we have all had to make in this journey.

I told them that for my family the most difficult and at times heated part of our decision were during the homestudy process when we had to really examine what we were looking for in a child. Age, sex, health etc. and what we had to do to reach an understanding. I also shared how valuable and necessary those conversations were in helping us understand each other.

All in all I wish I had had more time but I think I pulled it off! Next time I get asked to do that I want to have some show and tell...like maybe have some guests come who have been to Ethio. and back. Or maybe jsut bring in my own kiddo....ahhhh that would be awesome!!!

Lengthened Timelines...Again

What can I say... When we received the update this weekend that said our timelines have officially moved I was soooooo upset. 17-21 months are you kidding me? When we started we were at 9-15 months. Now its going to take at minimum 2 months longer than we had ever been told to expect??? The finish line keeps getting moved. It's not anyone's fault, things are just taking longer. For my family this means no news of referral until December at the EARLIEST (17 months) possibly nothing until May 2010 (21 months). And that's just for the referral (pictures/medical records). Then we get to wait another 4-9 months after that to pass court. At the momemt best case scenario means I could be home with a baby May 2010 worst case scenario puts us at nothing until early 2011. How much can a mothers heart take? I guess we are going to find out????

Laughter Therapy and the Magic of Anders

Just wanted to share a great show with you. "Anders" came to my workplace and wowed us today! If you have an event and you want to have some great entertainment call this guy!!! I laughed so hard I cried. This is a local MB boy who has hit the big time and travels all across Canada and the US with his show. The laugh did me a lot of good today. The magic tricks are pretty amazing as his his comedic talent! Check out his services here

I love the power of laughter, I feel a lot better now!