Yep its our 21st month of waiting anniversary. I have been doing pretty good for a while. Starting to feel my frantic side kicking in though. You PAP's and BTDT folks know what I mean. Suddenly it is imperative that I am reading all of the adoption literature again. Checking emails constantly. Reading through the CAFAC materials, checking to see how many people are ahead of me (sadly waaay more than I would like!)on the DTC site, wondering how many people are not on the proboard site so that I can try to figure out some kinda time line. Aiyiyiyiyiyi I think I will be a nut case by the time it finally gets to be my turn for a referral! The way that things keep getting extended I am so afraid that we will be the first couple to hit 30 months waiting...seriously having nightmares about that. In fact, I am way more concerned about the wait than the whole two trips issue everyone keeps talking about.Although of course nothing definitive on that front either. You know, I remember being told how fraught with risk and roller coastery this journey was...I just hoped that was only for other people and NOT ME!!! Hmmmm....back to the search for serenity.
Just to clarify, I am not wishing bad things for others in fact I hope everyone ahead of me gets the perfect child of their dreams...I guess every human just assumes that they will be the one exception to the rules...
4 comments:
Ya, you just hit a point where sanity goes right out the window!
You have done so great thus far.....hoping you don't have to wait to 30 months!!!
Any way you slice it, waiting sucks!! Sometimes you gotta do the crazy freaky dance to get through it. And don't even mention the 3 digits, wash your mouth out!
Waiting is soooo tough! It feels like it will never end! When that referral comes, it will be the child meant for you!
I learned to change my focus from hoping for the perfect child, to hoping we'll be the perfect parents for that special child. As our agency always reminds us, it's not about meeting our needs, it's about meeting the child's needs. But we still alway hope and wish and dream...
I'm starting to feel we are the exception to the rules, but in the wrong direction.
Anyhow, I feel your pain!
Hang in there!
Laura
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