What a miracle, we have been informed that our docs are being sent to Nairobi for VISA processing!!!!! woot woot !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There have been so many stages of waiting during this process, its a little unreal that we only have one more waiting stage to go and it should be relatively short. I hear a variety of timelines, but the most consistent thought at the moment seems to be 12-16 weeks until the VISA is issued. I would be over the moon to have our son home before CHristmas, before his first birthday in January, and hopefully before my sister-in- law gives birth!
I love my in-laws desperately, they are sweet wonderful people but its just a matter of principle that we- who have been trying for YEARS- should get to bring our child into the family first. "She who got pregnant on her honeymoon" (my affectionate term for the SIL), after a 3rd degree sunburn, jelly fish sting, and broken leg (yes she still managed to get pregnant)is due in the first week of January. Come on VISA people-don't let me down!
Don't hate me people, I am just one crazy Momma who has waited forever to know the face of her son.
I can feel myself edging toward that crazy place again. That place that only an adoption process can take a normally calm reasonable person and turn them into a psycho who checks email/websites constantly, obsessively talks and dreams about the future while not enjoying the TODAY, and ignores other important things and people in their life. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO ME!!!
I have stopped exercising-which I love- yay ZUMBA!!! Started eating crappy food again-hello can we say "emotional eater"? and in general have disappointed myself and sadly my DH who loves me beyond measure and worries for my health, especially after I did so well this last Fall and Winter.
I had so much fun yesterday going to my friends' competitive event (Mud Bogging) where she took two first places and one fifth place. I thought to myself, when was the last time I had done something that was taking a risk, and I felt proud of myself for accomplishing something? Welllllllll not since I received my Zumba teacher certification and taught my first class-a year ago. The good news is that I only gained back about 5 pounds of the 30 I had lost so not too much damage done, but I definitely need to get re-focused.
Time to recapture that feeling.
I have decided to begin the Body for Life challenge. Not officially, as I missed the deadline, but on my own to give myself a different focus, to live in the now.
So today is my day 1 of my 12 week challenge. I have already finished my upper body workout, and eaten healthfully so am off to a good start.
My hope is to do this 12 weeks so amazingly that my DH will be inspired and want to officially enter the contest with me in the next round as a couple. He's in pretty good shape-don't get me wrong, he can run a 5 K without stopping etc, but he eats horribly, and I think it would be great to try this together.
So there, some goals, a plan, and hopefully a return to sanity.
I learned some great lessons from having my niece and nephew visiting. The fancy toys that cost a tonne of money? Not nearly as interesting as... wait for it... THE GOLDEN ONION!!! Oh yeah. Not only can it be taken outside and used to hide fabulous treasures like pinecones and bugs- but with a quick rinse at the hose (and then later by auntie with soap) it magically turns into a FABULOUS tub toy! The Golden Onion can scoop and pour water, lock water inside that won't leak out...the list of wonders is amazing!!! Hehehe, who woulda guessed?
My wonderful family just left this morning, I am a sobbing mess. We had so much fun, I practiced my emerging Mommy skills on my niece and nephew-I feel more ready for Little Bear now than ever before. Thank you little brother for letting me practice on them, they are a treasure. It was hard to let them go, the hugs and kisses, poopy diapers, messy fingers....I loved it all, and I love them. My father was amazing, he fixed my lights, switched out old ones, fixed outlets, replaced amps...the list never ends-I love you daddy! My mom is an inspiration and gave me amazing tips and pointers for when Little Bear gets here, I hope I can be half as good of a mother as she is. I feel like I was really able to reconnect with my family after so long... great healing took place in my heart. I hope we never again let so much time go between visits.
Who couldn't fall in love with these faces? I admit I wanted to keep them, they made me happy to get up in the morning...and now my house, which was previously my sanctuary, is simply tooo big and quiet.
Little Bear needs to get here soon, my arms feel empty.