First Pro Family Photo

Updates

We are doing great.  Day care worries are gone-Biya has adjusted well.  He is a running (sort of), sliding, playing in dirt, throwing rocks in the lake kind of a boy.  I haven't perfected the balance of mothering, housekeeping, wifing, teachering, Zumbaing, belly dancing yet....house is a disaster, I am slightly (grimace) behind on my marking, I accidentally baby talk to my husband, but....we make time for this kiddo and that is all I care about right now.  I think the rest will come with time.

I DO need to get my house tidied up though before my big Bead For Life party.  I love doing this fundraiser and find it an excellent kick off to the holiday season.  My friends loving giving gifts that keep on giving, and the beaded jewelry is lovely.  If you are interested in helping out Ugandan women and having fun doing it I would suggest you check out this site: http://www.beadforlife.org/indexB.html. It is soooo easy to run a party and it costs you nothing but time.  An excellent organization.

And because no post is complete without a great Biya photo (or three):

Anxiety over day care

Sadly I have to go back to work on Sept. 6th, which means day care for Biya.  I am seriously struggling with this.  Biya seems to be well attached and adjusted to our famly life-but what if he starts to see his new day home provider as "mama"?  He will be with her from 7:45-4:00 every day until December.  Of course they will have a relationship.  Already I am super jealous of the time that she will get to spend with MY son.  Ack!, just typing this has me crying again. There is no way that I can be the stay at home Mom financially speaking.  Life is so not fair. 

I am trying to console myself with the knowledge that come January when he's 2 we can move him to the regular daycare that is right next door to my classroom so that I can see him anytime I wish.  It will also mean much less time in day care overall-only 8:20-3:15. Still not ideal but better.  Am I horribly selfish that I can hardly wait for him to turn 2 so that he is in a bigger daycare with more kids and more adults and LESS chance of him thinking of one of the care givers as "Mama"?  The lady who will care for Biya from September to Dec. is a good friend and I know she will do a good job, I am just nervous about being replaced. 

I know intellectually from having watched my husband (who had to return to work the day after we returned home from Ethiopia) that the bond does happen-its a matter of the QUALITY of time spent together -not neccessarily the QUANTITY. However, my heart doesn't want to listen to facts.  My heart wants to say, let's sell the house and everything we own, rent a trailer, and let me quit working!

Words of advice from BTDT would be welcomed, this anxiety is keeping me up at night (and goodness knows good sleep is hard enough to come by with a little one around!).

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Is it me....

or is this boy growing up too fast?

Happy Father, Happy Son, Happy Fathers Day

I can't imagine how life could possibly get any better than this!

Wordless Wednesday

Please Pardon the Snot

Yes, he's a little snotty. That's the way our life rolls these days with teething and (I suspect) allergies. I love this picture anyway.  I was messing around with the camera and he just spontaneously grabbed my face-I of course cried afterwards. The spontaneous hugs are increasing daily.  Even after diaper changes (which he ALMOST always cries through) I will stand him up to pull the britches on and he gives me a big hug.  Maybe he's just grateful that I am done?  Dunno. 

Mommy's Little Helper

Our Mommy and Me class leader suggested letting little wee ones help with chores around the house.  So when LB sidled up to me in the kitchen I let him pitch in with the dishes.  We actually had a lot of laughs, it took twice as long but made dishes a little more interesting!

Figuresque Girl

Hi Everyone!

I have started a new blog to chronicle my weight loss journey.  I will continue to document about Little Bear and our family adjustment here at Curvy Runner, but felt that it would be best to start a new blog that has more of a weight loss focus.  I am trying to lose 122 pounds and would love for all of you to pop/click over and check it out.  Words of support and encouragement are welcome!  You can find my new blog "Figuresque Girl" here. 

I want to be the best mom that I can be, and that means:
 a. making sure that I live long enough to see him grow up
b. being a healthy role model for exercise and eating habits
c.being happy within myself, so that I am fun to be with

It's funny, I didn't learn how important it was to love myself until I had that little man in my life. I love him so much that the thought of not being here, of dying early, or missing out on fun activities simply because of my weight is simply not acceptable to me anymore.

I hope to see you there!
Stephanie

Normalizing

Slowly things are getting back to routine.  Little Bear has a cold right now so a few sleepless nights for all but otherwise (knock on wood) we are doing very well.  He is such a smiley, happy little guy who loves to sing songs with me, we practice hugging on his new teddy, he blows kisses, and has the cutest giggle. 

Since we arrived home March 5th he has progressed from not really moving much with his legs at all to crawling by the end of March and just last week he took his first steps holding onto Mommy's fingers. Its like watching everything happen in fast forward he is making such huge gains daily.  He is very verbal in a babbly sort of way but you can distinctly tell mamamamama (often VERY loudly), dadadadada (with delight), and when he's ticked off I get "digidigidigi!!!".

When we first came home LB had ghiardia, which we are getting checked to ensure it is gone (fingers crossed), and some type of scalp issue which cleared up within 2 weeks using an antifungal cream.  I share this info just to help other PAP's be prepared for what may happen. THere is a wee bit of a bloated belly yet, we're still trying to figure out the cause but I have to say that overall we feel that he is in excellent health and the Ped. agrees. 

Now we just need to get rid of this pesky cold of his and we can really have some fun.  For now here are some pics of LB's daily fun times (please disregard my general shabbiness in photos-some days just go like that):

retroesophageal abscess

Sounds great right? This little tongue twister would be the reason why I have been absent lately.  After we came home March 5th I kept noticing that I had a sore throat and was worried about a cold coming on. A couple of days went by and my throat was still sore but no cold so I thought I was doing a  great job of keeping a cold at bay.  Then  a week goes by and I am SOOO tired. I couldn't believe how hard it was to get out of bed and do my mommy things.  I kept thinking that maybe it was depression? perhaps a delayed reaction to all of the changes in our lives....but kept going because my family needed me.  Then Monday the 21st the throat seemed pretty bad but I had to teach 2 dance classes so on I go, made it through belly dance-but now I had what felt like muscle aches up and down the back of my neck.  Kept chugging water, and pushed on-by midway through my Zumba class I was REALLY worried, I could feel that my muscles were not responding properly and I had 0 energy.  My class actually stopped to check on me...so we called it quits 10 minutes early and I drove home.  Then followed 2 days and nights of what I thought was the worst flu I had had in YEARS.  Of course during the days I am still taking care of Little Bear-but truly just barely making it through, I felt horrible physically and emotionally because I knew I was not at my best and felt that I was cheating him.  Wed, I called hubby home early and inssisted on going to the Dr. who at first couldn't fit me in thank goodness for a cancellation and off to the Dr. we went.  She noticed an infection, prescribed some antibiotics and other tests and off to the pharmacy we go.  By the time I arrive at the pharmacy the Dr. called and wanted me back.  She suspected the abscess and insisted we needed to drive (3hours) to Winnipeg emergency where she had a Dr. waiting for me.  (I didn't know that left untreated this was almost always fatal).  Suffice it to say that after 3 hours waiting in Emergency I finally was in had CT scans, blookwork etc. and was admitted overnight.  Had surgery by 11am the next day and just got out of hospital on Saturday.  My wonderful mom flew up from Wyoming to let me recover while she took care of Biya....now the road to recovery will hopefully be swift!!! 

 I would like life to settle into some kind of "normal" anytime now.  Unfortunately we seem to attract trouble and drama.  Anyway, if you don't hear from me for a while its just because I am trying to recover as swiftly as possible. 

Just a few pics...

ok so being a mommy is a lot of hard work.  I am still learning how to juggle everything but I have never enjoyed anything so much either!

Shhhhh There's a baby in the crib!

We made it back last night. Wonderful trip, loved Ethiopia, but happy to be back in my own bed.  Currently both of the men in my life are catching their zzzzz's, for some reason I am full of energy and am just running around trying to get settled into our house again. 

Biya is amazing!!! He has made incredible progress already in the strength in his legs-he will be walking in no time. I love his baby laugh,  and I kid you not calling him "Little Bear" was prophetic.  When he is happy he growls at us!!!  I swear he came that way on his own-it is so perfect and melts my heart.  I will try to capture it on video (as soon as I figure out how to get my computer to upload it all) I will post it.  Seriously its just about the funniest baby sound EVAH. 

So for now we are home, safe, and loving every minute.

Travel Time is Nigh!

We are approaching our flight date; flights are booked, hotels, rides to and from airports arranged, bags....no where near packed.  House, nowhere near clean-dog keeps shedding  on everything and if she drools on my floor one more time after I have JUST steam cleaned it there might be a new rug on that floor soon! 

Clearly I have some issues.  I think I am just so excited to just get on that plane and go that NOTHING is happening fast enough for me right now!   Big Bear is frantically trying to get ahead on his assignments. I have to give him credit, working full time, night classes, and getting ready to go on the adventure of a lifetime-he handles it amazingly well. 

Soon, soon, soon our Little Bear will be in our arms and this Mama Bear just couldn't be happier (despite all the dog hair).

Crisis Averted-I Get to go to Ethiopia!

Oy, I am so sick of immigration issues, if it's not our sons, its mine.  Good news, I figured out a way to make it work.  Because my PRV travel document expired (a week ago-and it takes a YEAR to renew!) I cannot come back in to Canada via airplane (at least not without major hassle). BUT, we figured out that since I am a US citizen I can fly out with Big Bear, spend the week in Ethiopia with BB & LB, fly out of Ethiopia, and into Dubai with them.  Then, Big Bear and Little Bear will fly back via a Canadian route, I will fly back a US route and then drive across the border.  Seriously, a weird system we have here but its going to work.  Most importantly I get the go to Ethiopia and revel in the joy of my son, and soak in Ethiopia. 

I cannot tell you how crushed I was to think I would have to miss the trip. 

So, we leave in 11 days.  11, I can't believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He has changed so much:

Referal at 3 mos.                                     Update at 6 months                                 Update at 11 months

Mama Bear and Big Bear Have an Announcement

We have a VISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too many exclamation points? I think not. :)

Overwhelmed, excited, relieved, you name it we feel it right now.

Presenting Little Bear: Biyadegelegn Marcus James  (Biya)

12 months

More waiting....

That's all....just MORE waiting......

you don't even want to know the kind of crap we're dealing with. Happy to say though that our agency has been very supportive.

Screw excited...crushed

Oh yeah, the Dr. signed off, tests came back clear. Imm. folks finally found the paperwork. BUT OH NO DON"T THINK WE ARE DONE...yes you guessed it, more testing!  So let's see, x-ray CLEAR, blood work CLEAR, horrible sputum test results that we waited 12 weeks for and just came back 2 weeks ago CLEAR.  So three tests, three CLEARS, Dr. signed it off (5 months all told so far, going for 6? just in medical all together we are now at almost 8 months total VISA wait)....but someone who sits in an office and has never seen Little Bear decides that he must be ill because he coughed (like twice while getting his exam-not my words-CAFAC's, the Dr.must have written it/ noted it)  and so we need more tests.    The agency is as shocked as I am.  

Once I recovered from my shocked/horrified/furious emotional tornado I was on the phone, the email, and everything trying to get a straight answer.  The vagueness that is imm. is staggering. 

I have sent out Big Bear for comfort food, and tampax.  Yes, I am so freaking freaked right now my husband volunteered to publicly buy my tampons just to get out of the house.

To Get Excited or Not to Get Excited...

That is the question.  So the good news is Little Bear finally was ok'd by the Dr., the paperwork is signed off and sent on to the powers that be....after 5 months, 5 months of waiting in which EVERY SINGLE TEST HE WAS GIVEN PROVED THAT HE WAS HEALTHY AND YET THEY KEPT ORDERING MORE TESTS!!! (Not that I am bitter or anything).  Theoretically we can begin getting excited because that SHOULD be the last hurdle.  My faith in the process however is low for good reasons... as in how we were told (yesterday) that the results were sent but none of the "powers that be' seem to know where they are now.  Huh.

The Conversation That Wouldn't Die

You know the one I mean....well this had an interesting twist .

Scene: After Zumba workout (Keep in mind I tried really hard to be nice because she is a client)

Her: Conratulations on your adoption!

Me: Thanks we are very excited to bring our little boy home.

Her: Yes, your daughter is lovely.

Me:  We have a son, but thank you, we think he is adorable too.

Her: No, your daughter, the dark girl who rides my sons bus.

Insert my confused look. I know the girl she is referring to, who is hispanic, and adopted but no relation to me.

Me: Oh, you mean *****, she is a lovely girl but not my daughter.  As I said, I have a son, who is currently living in Ethiopia.  At this point I am desperate to get out of this conversation "thanks again" I say trying to get her to go....but oh no....

Her:  SO you have a son....

ME: Yes, he is 12 months old, we hope to bring him home soon,  lovely talking to you, I have to run.....

Her: So, you know (mischeivious twinkle in her eye) that as soon as you bring him home you will get pregnant right?

Me: What makes you think that? (Now I jsut want to see how big a hole she will dig herself into)

Her: Well, my sister-in-laws cousin was overweight like you and as soon as she was chasing that toddler around the house and lost some weight she got pregnant right away. 

Me:  Well, I guess its good that I am leading the Zumba fitness classes then.

Her: Oh yes, plus it will help you relax. That's key you know, relaxing, it seems that people get too tense trying to have babies and that mental block gets in the way.  Once you relax and lose weight it will all get better.

Me: Un huh, so that's all it took? Relaxing and losing weight....wow, 7 years of Dr's visits and they missed that. Thanks for the tip.

Her: Not a problem, have a great evening! (No she never caught on to the sarcasm)

....and she finally walked away

Ok, so I am childless, fat, and tense......thanks for hitting all of my sensitive spots in one quick blow. 

Limbo

No, not that kind.  The kind where a person has no idea what is happening, if anything is happening, and no one is willing to give them a clue.  Supposedly the medical results were to be in on Jan. 10. No idea if they actually came back. No idea if they were clear. No idea what the Dr. did with them if the results did come back.  Apparently nobody knows nothing, and the people in charge of Canadian Immigration Doctor stuff aren't sharing.  Theorietically all kinds of stuff COULD be happening, and the information is just not being passed on to us.  I think more likely our stuff is stuck on somebodies desk somewhere being ignored.  At what point do parental rights kick in and someone will think that maybe, just maybe, it would be good for us to know what is going on? 

No News...but Presents!!

Little Bear's birthday was not forgotten! Look at these adorable gifts our families sent:

Thanks Mom-you know I love books!

 Thanks Aunty Jen for making this lovely and OH SO SOFT blanket-sure to be a favourite! I cannot even tell you how soft this thing is- I want one for me!!!

 Little Bear's Aunt Nichole and Uncle Brian making sure he is well outfitted!

So no news...but lot of love and people thinking, hoping, wishing, and praying for our LB.  For now, that's pretty amazing. 

Finally, thank you  to everyone out there in the Blogosphere-your help, and support do keep me going!

Anticipation builds....

as we wait to find out next week if we are finally moving on past the medical stage of the visa wait.  The paperwork is supposed to be ready on Monday the 10th. I don't imagine we will know anything until Wednesday the 12th. Fingers crossed they will finally sign off and send our paperwork back to Nairobi by Friday the 14th. Who'd have thought a decision we made years ago to go the PRV route instead of Citizenship would cause this much of a hassle. And again I ask, if the darned 2nd medical check is so important then why isn't it required for both processes? That baffles me.

Happy Birthday Little Bear!

Dear Little Bear,

I can't believe you are a year old today. Don't grow up too fast little one! Mommy wishes she could be with you to hug and kiss you all day long and tell you how special you are. How loved you are. Hopefully we will be together very soon.

Make a birthday wish for your VISA ok? We would like to come get you for Daddy's birthday at the end of the month, or Mommy's birthday in February, so how about if we combine all of our birthday wishes together? Oh, Grandma's birthday is in February too...wow, that's a lot of wishing and hoping we can combine together....see you soon my son.

Love, Mommy

Come On 2011!

My Theme Song for 2011:


Goodbye 2010! Don't let the door hit ya on the way out!!!  2011 ARE YOU LISTENING???  I want all positive all the time 2011. No more of this "hurry up and wait" junk. No more bad news.



I have such highs hopes for 2011, making that amazing trip to Ethiopia, becoming a Mom, getting some schooling done, getting caught up on projects for the house-so many things that I am looking forward to. Most of all looking forward to getting to know my son....this is our year-it has to be.