Wednesday, December 17, 2008
This is a year of loss and my heart is breaking again, my dear friend Daphne having passed away about 3 months ago. I am just trying to make it through the next three days...I'll be with family for the holidays and darn it- I want my MOMMY! 2008 has been a crappy year, I am realllllly hoping that 2009 is an improvement.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
The next weeks should really fly by! I hope everyone is feeling excited and hopeful about the holidays. Remember- this is the time of year when anything can happen!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Moi, vamping for the camera!
The girls trying to figure out some some cool moves.
This is what happens when belly dance mixes with martinis!!!
The princess of the party! Note the crown.
Friday, November 7, 2008
For so long America has had a negative world image. Hopefully we are taking a first step in changing that image. I have never been more proud.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
As always the DH work place has a way of messing with our plans and now my DH will be away for a few months at that time. Or maybe he won't, oh wait- no he will, no sorry work can't make up their minds if he's going or not. ARGH!
I am determined to focus on enjoying the NOW. The martini party on Friday was a great way to follow through on this resolution!
Another resolution- learning how to say "No" to people. I seriously SUCK at this. Which explains why I am the frazzled mess that I am this week. Working (60+ hrs/wk), teaching belly dance, performing, planning a Remembrance Day celebration for work, committees, tech rep, learning groups the list goes on- why is it so hard to say no?
Anyone out there ever found a cure for this?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I just want to say a big Thank You to all of my friends and family that have been so supportive during the adoption process. This includes all of my "online" family too. Without you gals who truly understand to the depths of your souls how frustrating this can be- I probably would be insane by now! And to my belly dancer girls- future aunties to my Ethiopian Prince/Princess- Hugs and Kisses, you are the best!
We miss you Daphne...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Then, after a hard day at work, I am supposed to go to the staff room and revel in the joy of throwing a baby shower for yet another staff member that "didn't even plan for it" aren't they lucky!?!?! Ooh, and let's top all the joy with trying to force me to hold it, cuddle it, and tell you how wonderful this is and I am so happy for you. *&^$ OFF!!! Is it not enough that i contributed money to purchase lovely gifts- I was happy to do that. Just try to understand my pain in this and don't make me hold it!
In the last two years, with a staff of only 14 women (only 8 of whom are in their "child bearing years")there have been 6 pregnancies! If one more person tells me teasingly to "drink the water, surely that will fix everything and you'll be pregnant in no time" I am going to lose it.
People just don't get it. I am in pain every day about this. I have a child- I just don't know them yet. It hurts every day not getting to hug, touch and love them. To worry about what they must endure until I can be there to protect them. So don't ask me if I want to hold your baby- I don't. I want mine.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Lighting the unity candle, I quite like this picture actually.
It wasn't an expensive wedding but we were very happy. I am starting to think this one needs to be blown up and hung in the house.
Of course, no wedding of mine would have been comlete without belly dancers. My teacher had started a new group of tribal dancers and they performed for us. It was great because it was too hot for dancing otherwise.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
It feels good to have this part of myself back again! I hope everyone does something healthy for themselves today.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Thanks for getting us off to a great start!
The pieces have started trickling in! Above is a piece from my friend Jeannie. She cut it out of her daughter's favorite outgrown dress. It means so much knowing it is pre-loved!
A SQWISH from Tanner and Stewie, beloved dogs of Simona and Derek.
Many more to come! This has been so much fun already. If anyone wants to trade SQWISH's just let me know!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Just for fun, and because I want to get to know people (fellow bloggers) better I am going to post a couple of questions here. I look forward to reading what you have to say! That is if you choose to respond....ooohhhh I'm having flashbacks to my Jr. High birthday party where no one showed up because I had pissed off the popular girl in school. I am an adult, I can handle this. Gosh I hope someone responds! ;)
1. What was the happiest moment of your life?
2. When in life have you felt most alone?
3. How has your life been different than what you’d imagined?
1. My happiest moment, probably the day after my wedding. All the fuss was over and I could just enjoy my new journey in life.
2. That Jr. high party comes to mind...
3. I never thought I would get married or be a mom. I had planned on being an independent purple haired old lady in pink high tops cruising the world in the Peace Corps.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
I became addicted to http://www.cuteoverload.com/, seeing these photos never failed to bring a smile to my face!
I crocheted 4 baby blankets (I was obviously not dealing well with this much time on my hands). I have a lot of pregnant family and friends. While I no longer want to poke their eyes out with forks (I went through an angry/ jealous phase when we first were dealing with infertility) it is still sometimes frustrating to listen to them complain about being pregnant, chasing after kids, how hard it is to lose their shape yadda yadda. Seriously, do you realize who you are talking too?
Saturday, August 23, 2008
In running news I did some "bruising" in my right Achilles so am switching to bike riding for my exercise for a couple of days just to play it safe. i also bought this new DVD that uses ballet movements for stretching and strengthening, I think I will add it to my repertoire- I need some grace in my life!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Song of the Waiting Mother
I'm pregnant, but my tummy isn't growing.
And no one ever calls me "Little Mom."
The public simply isn't overflowing
With questions that I'd handle with aplomb.
There are no special clothes to mark my waiting.
Nobody stops and smiles as I pass by.
The absence of a due-date is frustrating
And looking at the nursery makes me cry.
When I'm overdue no one will worry.
The phone won't ring and ring as friends check in.
I can't induce my labor in a hurry,
My new life as a parent to begin.
Adoption is a worrisome endeavor,
And waiting all alone is not much fun.
To be "with child" a year seems like forever.
Dear God, we're ready! Please send us our son!
Monday, August 11, 2008
*Identities have been changed to protect the innocent! :)
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Unrealistic, and unfair to myself in trying to have any sense of a life outside of "the BIG WAIT". So instead I have created a ticker that counts down from 15 months. I first thought of this after seeing Ricki H. switch hers for the last "push" towards a referral. But dismissed it as not something that I needed at this time.
Then, after meeting and talking with some other wonderful "waiting" couples at the BBQ Saturday I realized that my child referral WILL come in time. My only question at this point is how I want this wait to be for my family. If I spend all my time stressing over when the referral may come, am I becoming the best parent that I can be? Am I using my time wisely and enjoying these last precious months with DH? Hence, the backwards ticker. I am going to assume that a referral will not arrive until the 15 months time frame. In reality I am also preparing myself for the fact that the timelines could also be extended again, so even 18 months is possible I suppose. For now I will stick with the agency's proposed timelines.
So, I have 15 months to whip my butt into shape, have fun, create memories, and become the best me that I can be for the sake of my future child. Hope this makes sense to everyone.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Let's keep those referrals coming!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The adoption front is quiet. We've mailed off all of our sponsorship documents, now we just wait. The CAFAC BBQ is coming up and DH and I are looking forward to getting to know the families and having some fun! We're bringing along a good friend who is looking to know more about our adoption community. Should be a lot of fun!
My first "sqwishes" have arrived!!! Thank you to Shannon and Dan http://12941kilometersofredtape.blogspot.com/, and Simona and her family. We love the fabric pieces and I cried at the wishes. Our child is going to be so blessed!
Take care everyone!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
For inspiration, every time I think of quitting, I picture trying to squeeze into an airplane seat and sitting there (off and on) for 30 hours. Knowing that I want to be as comfortable as possible on the flight to get my little one is a huge motivator for me right now. My last plane trip was an excersize in humiliation. My hips were simply too wide for the chair. I kept "spreading" and my hips pushed the armrest of my seatmate up...so humiliating, and the guy was not polite about it. Honestly, I had bruises on my hips when the trip was over. I refuse to go through that again.
Additionally, my overall outlook on life has genuinely improved since I've been working out. Bart (DH) is loving my new attitude and comments positively on the improvements. He is very supportive of this venture of mine.
Tomorrow will be a recovery day but i look forward to my next big push!
Monday, July 28, 2008
written far more eloquently than I ever could manage.
Our Ethiopian Adoption Journey: Why Ethiopia?#links
Thank you Chad and Laura fo allowing me to borrow this.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Push ups: 5-rest-7- rest-16!!!
Forgot to mention that my sweetie went running with me which I think really helped my motivation. He is so supportive of my efforts it was great time spent together.
Oh, and I cut my hair super short- I love it! Will post pictures soon.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
I walk/jogged 2 km today. (Officially Day 1)
Rest day for Push up Challenge.
On the adoption front things are pretty quiet right now. Just waiting for one last piece of paperwork so that I can mail off our Sponsorship paperwork. I almost hate to send it in. It feels like the last bit of control that I have in this process until the referral comes.
If you are reading this post, take some time to love your body today!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
the eyes of my eyes are opened: Thoughts at 6 months waiting...#links#links
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
What am I gonna do with this blog? Well, I wanted a place to share my upcoming adoption experience, my love of belly dancing, and my quest to keep my curves while cutting the fat (I love being curvy, but don't love being unhealthy-surely there is some middle ground somewhere!). That being said, I am beginning two personal fitness challenges. First, to become a runner. I want to work up to a 10K. Secondly, I am going to take the 100 Push-Up Challenge.
Day One July 22, 2008
Running goal: 4 Minute walk, 1 Minute Run repeat sequence 6 times
Day One push ups
*I have to do modified knee push-ups at this point.
Goal: 5 rest 7 rest 10
Wish me luck!