Screw excited...crushed

Oh yeah, the Dr. signed off, tests came back clear. Imm. folks finally found the paperwork. BUT OH NO DON"T THINK WE ARE DONE...yes you guessed it, more testing!  So let's see, x-ray CLEAR, blood work CLEAR, horrible sputum test results that we waited 12 weeks for and just came back 2 weeks ago CLEAR.  So three tests, three CLEARS, Dr. signed it off (5 months all told so far, going for 6? just in medical all together we are now at almost 8 months total VISA wait)....but someone who sits in an office and has never seen Little Bear decides that he must be ill because he coughed (like twice while getting his exam-not my words-CAFAC's, the Dr.must have written it/ noted it)  and so we need more tests.    The agency is as shocked as I am.  

Once I recovered from my shocked/horrified/furious emotional tornado I was on the phone, the email, and everything trying to get a straight answer.  The vagueness that is imm. is staggering. 

I have sent out Big Bear for comfort food, and tampax.  Yes, I am so freaking freaked right now my husband volunteered to publicly buy my tampons just to get out of the house.

To Get Excited or Not to Get Excited...

That is the question.  So the good news is Little Bear finally was ok'd by the Dr., the paperwork is signed off and sent on to the powers that be....after 5 months, 5 months of waiting in which EVERY SINGLE TEST HE WAS GIVEN PROVED THAT HE WAS HEALTHY AND YET THEY KEPT ORDERING MORE TESTS!!! (Not that I am bitter or anything).  Theoretically we can begin getting excited because that SHOULD be the last hurdle.  My faith in the process however is low for good reasons... as in how we were told (yesterday) that the results were sent but none of the "powers that be' seem to know where they are now.  Huh.

The Conversation That Wouldn't Die

You know the one I mean....well this had an interesting twist .

Scene: After Zumba workout (Keep in mind I tried really hard to be nice because she is a client)

Her: Conratulations on your adoption!

Me: Thanks we are very excited to bring our little boy home.

Her: Yes, your daughter is lovely.

Me:  We have a son, but thank you, we think he is adorable too.

Her: No, your daughter, the dark girl who rides my sons bus.

Insert my confused look. I know the girl she is referring to, who is hispanic, and adopted but no relation to me.

Me: Oh, you mean *****, she is a lovely girl but not my daughter.  As I said, I have a son, who is currently living in Ethiopia.  At this point I am desperate to get out of this conversation "thanks again" I say trying to get her to go....but oh no....

Her:  SO you have a son....

ME: Yes, he is 12 months old, we hope to bring him home soon,  lovely talking to you, I have to run.....

Her: So, you know (mischeivious twinkle in her eye) that as soon as you bring him home you will get pregnant right?

Me: What makes you think that? (Now I jsut want to see how big a hole she will dig herself into)

Her: Well, my sister-in-laws cousin was overweight like you and as soon as she was chasing that toddler around the house and lost some weight she got pregnant right away. 

Me:  Well, I guess its good that I am leading the Zumba fitness classes then.

Her: Oh yes, plus it will help you relax. That's key you know, relaxing, it seems that people get too tense trying to have babies and that mental block gets in the way.  Once you relax and lose weight it will all get better.

Me: Un huh, so that's all it took? Relaxing and losing weight....wow, 7 years of Dr's visits and they missed that. Thanks for the tip.

Her: Not a problem, have a great evening! (No she never caught on to the sarcasm)

....and she finally walked away

Ok, so I am childless, fat, and tense......thanks for hitting all of my sensitive spots in one quick blow. 

Limbo

No, not that kind.  The kind where a person has no idea what is happening, if anything is happening, and no one is willing to give them a clue.  Supposedly the medical results were to be in on Jan. 10. No idea if they actually came back. No idea if they were clear. No idea what the Dr. did with them if the results did come back.  Apparently nobody knows nothing, and the people in charge of Canadian Immigration Doctor stuff aren't sharing.  Theorietically all kinds of stuff COULD be happening, and the information is just not being passed on to us.  I think more likely our stuff is stuck on somebodies desk somewhere being ignored.  At what point do parental rights kick in and someone will think that maybe, just maybe, it would be good for us to know what is going on? 

No News...but Presents!!

Little Bear's birthday was not forgotten! Look at these adorable gifts our families sent:

Thanks Mom-you know I love books!

 Thanks Aunty Jen for making this lovely and OH SO SOFT blanket-sure to be a favourite! I cannot even tell you how soft this thing is- I want one for me!!!

 Little Bear's Aunt Nichole and Uncle Brian making sure he is well outfitted!

So no news...but lot of love and people thinking, hoping, wishing, and praying for our LB.  For now, that's pretty amazing. 

Finally, thank you  to everyone out there in the Blogosphere-your help, and support do keep me going!

Anticipation builds....

as we wait to find out next week if we are finally moving on past the medical stage of the visa wait.  The paperwork is supposed to be ready on Monday the 10th. I don't imagine we will know anything until Wednesday the 12th. Fingers crossed they will finally sign off and send our paperwork back to Nairobi by Friday the 14th. Who'd have thought a decision we made years ago to go the PRV route instead of Citizenship would cause this much of a hassle. And again I ask, if the darned 2nd medical check is so important then why isn't it required for both processes? That baffles me.

Happy Birthday Little Bear!

Dear Little Bear,

I can't believe you are a year old today. Don't grow up too fast little one! Mommy wishes she could be with you to hug and kiss you all day long and tell you how special you are. How loved you are. Hopefully we will be together very soon.

Make a birthday wish for your VISA ok? We would like to come get you for Daddy's birthday at the end of the month, or Mommy's birthday in February, so how about if we combine all of our birthday wishes together? Oh, Grandma's birthday is in February too...wow, that's a lot of wishing and hoping we can combine together....see you soon my son.

Love, Mommy

Come On 2011!

My Theme Song for 2011:


Goodbye 2010! Don't let the door hit ya on the way out!!!  2011 ARE YOU LISTENING???  I want all positive all the time 2011. No more of this "hurry up and wait" junk. No more bad news.



I have such highs hopes for 2011, making that amazing trip to Ethiopia, becoming a Mom, getting some schooling done, getting caught up on projects for the house-so many things that I am looking forward to. Most of all looking forward to getting to know my son....this is our year-it has to be.