Reframing My Thinking

After much internal debate I have changed my ticker to reflect my new attitude about waiting for a referral. With the ticker that counted up, I would get a bit discouraged every day hoping that I might get to be the lucky person who gets a referral earylier that the projected wait times of 8-15 months.

Unrealistic, and unfair to myself in trying to have any sense of a life outside of "the BIG WAIT". So instead I have created a ticker that counts down from 15 months. I first thought of this after seeing Ricki H. switch hers for the last "push" towards a referral. But dismissed it as not something that I needed at this time.

Then, after meeting and talking with some other wonderful "waiting" couples at the BBQ Saturday I realized that my child referral WILL come in time. My only question at this point is how I want this wait to be for my family. If I spend all my time stressing over when the referral may come, am I becoming the best parent that I can be? Am I using my time wisely and enjoying these last precious months with DH? Hence, the backwards ticker. I am going to assume that a referral will not arrive until the 15 months time frame. In reality I am also preparing myself for the fact that the timelines could also be extended again, so even 18 months is possible I suppose. For now I will stick with the agency's proposed timelines.

So, I have 15 months to whip my butt into shape, have fun, create memories, and become the best me that I can be for the sake of my future child. Hope this makes sense to everyone.